TV Review - Saturday 19th June - Germany v Latvia

"I think we're going to have some fun" is Des' non-committal preview in a sentence, after the usual 'you never know what could happen'-themed intro and a set of self-indulgent laughter between Des, Tel and Ally. Well, you expect that. Similarly, "how difficult are those names to pronounce?", Ally perhaps satirically pondering "that's why Clive's on 100 grand a week, he's the best in the business at pronouncing those". This is a worldview where Kevin Kuranyi is "the Panamanian, Brazilian, something else". "Some nice scenery here today" Des reckons over pictures of attractive female fans, before repeating "we're in for some fun, I think". Don't count on that as a given just yet, whatever you do. Somewhat ridiculously, Des reckons a Latvian win would "put the cat among those things that live on Trafalgar Square". Is he trying to be poetic at this late stage? "However hot it is for Des and the boys in the studio, it's quite cool out here" Clive reassures us, the 5pm heat being a regular feature of the tournament so far - no more of that after today, of course. To be honest we did drift off at one point during the first half, so we cannot confirm if Tyldesley really did make reference to chatting with Gordon Strachan as we thought we heard, but we definitely heard Andy reckon of Igor Stepanovs' free transfer from Arsenal "I think Arsene Wenger's got it wrong for once". Oh, we think he'll manage without him, just about. His team are "making Germany look equally limited", not that Clive appears to be bothered, going on about the Steven Gerrard stories "in your paper tomorrow" - how does he know? - and calling ITV's rotten interactive service 'a new way of watching football'. What's the actually useful BBC Interactive service or indeed Sky Active, then? Another old favourite turns up when Clive reckons Michael Ballack reminds him of, yes, Wayne Rooney, as "the ball is a friend to him". He's worked up to this so much that a couple of minutes later he tells exactly the same story about Astafjevs at Bristol Rovers in the same way as he did during Latvia-Czech Republic. Andy delights himself with "good ping from Frings" but it's to no avail as Clive ponders "I don't think they have a word in Latvia for lost cause". "Germany is not a nation of fingernails at the moment" is spectacularly obtuse, "Klose... it was not even close" just dreadful. Odd moment of language conjugation in injury time as Verpakovskis is subbed and Clive opines "I hate to coin my phrase, but do remember his name". Of course this is a reference to "remember the name, Wayne Rooney!" the season before last, alluded to on Thursday as now "all of Europe will remember the name". If he calls his autobiography Remember My Name, we will not be responsible for our actions. Still, "National pride for Latvia, national embarrassment for Germany" about sums it up, bar Ally and Tel exploding at Mike Riley turning down two decent Latvian penalty shouts, their shouting echoing off the studio walls - would they do that for a non-English manager?